Bingo! or Mafia!

I swore I’d never listen to a mafia romance. As you may know, I did. And kind of got hooked on them. But in an MST3K way. I watch/listen and then go to ChatGPT and we dissect them.

So, somehow Chat and I decided there should be a bingo game with mafia tropes but then I said we should call it Mafia. You’ll have to make up your own cards and go listen to one of the audio books and choose your own prize because…well…the Family doesn’t provide prizes.

Here’s your list of common words, phrases or scenes that you’ll hear in just about every mafia romance on YouTube. As you listen you can check them off on your card until you have five in a row…or all four corners and you can yell…Mafia!

1. “You’re insane.” Said by the girl when the mafia guy says he’s doing this “to keep her safe.”
2. Her: “I should leave.” Him: “You should.” Nobody moves.
3. Her: “I hate you.” Him: “I know.”
4. He smelled like cedar/expensive cologne and something dangerous. (What does danger smell like?)
5. Her: “That’s not an answer.” Followed by #6.
6. Him: “It’s the only one I have.”
7. “You make me want to be better.” (Did John Gotti ever say that to Victoria?)
8. Hero has a scar through his left eyebrow. Always the left.
9. Her: “Why me?” Asked at least six times per story. Sometimes even the hero gets annoyed.
10. He looked at her like she was something precious.
11. Foreheads touch.
12. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Sometimes more than once in a story.
13. They drink a lot of wine.
14. Him: “You’re safe.”
15. Him: “Mine.”
16. His jaw is cut from marble or stone.
17. Her: “Who are you? Really.”
18. Her lips were swollen from his kiss. (Wow…he kisses hard!)
19. “Are you okay?” Sometimes asked after sex.
20. “Trust me.”

And you’ll be happy to know that all mafia men are very competent cooks because their mother or nonna said he wasn’t a real man if he couldn’t cook.

Did I miss your favorite cliché? Feel free to leave yours in the comments. Just not while we’re touching foreheads and you’re tucking my hair behind my ears telling me to trust you.

Take care,

Gillian

And if you like mafia romances or want to read one that doesn’t have all of the clichés, Dominion will be out near the end of July. I’m still proofing it, but my designer should get the brief for the cover this week.